Girls of Summer
By Rick Novy
LAS VEGAS HUSTLERS SELECT FEMALE PITCHER IN FIRST ROUND
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
New York—After their dismal season last year, the Las Vegas Hustlers rolled the dice during the first round of today’s baseball draft by selecting pitcher Nancy Oakes of Brenton University as the second pick overall. Analysts expected the Hustlers to go after slugging third baseman Andrew McNabb, but surprised the world by selecting Oakes, who had been expected to go in the second round.
Oakes set a school saves record with 27. She is a left-handed finesse reliever who brings a good arm and a resilient attitude to the Hustlers’ bullpen. When asked about the prospects of Oakes making the roster, Manager Ted Kissling said, “We are excited to see what she can bring to the table this spring. The Las Vegas Hustlers blew more leads than any other team in the league last year, and we believe Nancy Oakes is the player we need to address this problem.”
FEMALE PITCHER OAKES IMPRESSIVE IN DEBUT
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Scottsdale—Rookie pitcher Nancy Oakes pitches one inning, striking out the side in her debut appearance as the Hustlers defeat Colorado by a score of 2 to 1. Manager Ted Kissling says, “In her first game, Oakes performed about as well as any rookie pitcher I’ve ever seen.” Of her own performance, Oakes herself says, “I was a little nervous out there at first, but then I settled into my groove.” The Hustlers play San Francisco tomorrow at noon.
FEMALE PITCHER HECKLED IN SECOND GAME
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Scottsdale—Rookie pitcher Nancy Oakes recorded her second spring training save today, despite some downright rude behavior by fans. Three fans were ejected after throwing bras onto the playing field, while others shouted sexist comments from the stands.
Oakes entered the game with one out and the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth inning. After San Francisco’s Wriggleton worked the count full, he grounded into a double play to end the game. When asked about the heckling, Oakes said, “It comes with the territory. Nobody said breaking the gender barrier would be easy.”
The Hustlers play Milwaukee tomorrow in a pair of split-squad games.
OAKES MAKES ROSTER, FIRST FEMALE TO PLAY IN THE MAJORS
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Las Vegas—Manager Ted Kissling revealed the opening day twenty-five person roster earlier today, and as anticipated, rookie pitcher Nancy Oakes will become the first female to play in the majors.
Kissling rested Oakes today as San Diego defeated the Hustlers by a score of 7 to 1. Oakes could not be reached for comment. The Hustlers open the regular season in Cincinnati this Friday night.
THOMAS SPOILS OAKES’ DEBUT, HUSTLERS LOSE 4-3
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Cincinnati—Rookie pitcher and first female to pitch in the majors, Nancy Oakes had her debut spoiled by a two-run blast from Cincinnati catcher Brooks Thomas. After the game, Oakes said, “I let the situation get into my head. I’m normally more focused than this.”
“She hung a fat pitch with nothing on it,” Thomas said. “Any decent hitter would have been all over that baseball.”
Hustlers Manager Ted Kissling said, “It’s a big situation for a rookie. Add to that her role in breaking the gender barrier, sure, this was a pressure cooker. I have every confidence Nancy will bounce back from this as she gets used to the environment of the big leagues.”
She may have her chance as early as tomorrow, as the Hustlers get ready for game two of this opening weekend series.
HUSTLERS BEAT ATLANTA 1-0, OAKES RECORDS FIRST WIN
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Las Vegas—By any definition, this game was a pitcher’s duel. Hustlers starter Adrian Cruz-Cruz pitched a gem into the top of the ninth, when he walked the first two batters he faced.
Nancy Oakes entered the scoreless game with a 3-0 count on Atlanta second baseman Toriano Lopez and the lead run on second. Oakes worked the count full before Lopez grounded to short for a double-play, sending the tying run to third. Oakes then struck out Atlanta slugger Mitch Marshal to preserve the scoreless tie.
Las Vegas third baseman Alvin Coolidge laced a double down the left field line, and manager Ted Kissling opted to leave Oakes in to bat. She dropped a beautiful sacrifice bunt down the first base line to move Coolidge to third. Hustlers catcher Joe Barnaby hit the first pitch he saw to the left field wall, allowing Coolidge to score the winning run, and handing Nancy Oakes her first career victory.
“It doesn’t get more dramatic than this!” Kissling said of today’s game. Security escorted Oakes into the clubhouse immediately after the game, and the media was not allowed into the locker room. Oakes issued a statement shortly after the game ended, stating that her own personal achievements came second to the team winning.
Sometimes, a player can have both.
OAKES INJURED OUTSIDE STADIUM, WILL NOT PLAY THIS WEEKEND
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Los Angeles—An ugly mob surrounded the Hustlers team bus as they arrived in town. The mostly male crowd threw bras and jeered rookie phenom Nancy Oakes by calling her a lesbian and a butch. Stadium security escorted the Hustlers inside the locker room, but not before a bottle of perfume was thrown from the crowd, hitting Oakes in the back of the head.
According to Hustlers manager Ted Kissling, Oakes suffered a mild concussion and was placed on the seven-day disabled list as a precautionary measure. Pitcher Ryan Nguyen was recalled from AAA Memphis and should arrive in Los Angeles in time for this evening’s game.
OAKES ACTIVATED FROM DISABLED LIST, EARNS 17th SAVE
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Phoenix—With the pennant race heating up, the Hustlers opened a critical weekend series with division rival Arizona last night.
It was all Las Vegas early on, scoring seven runs in the first three innings, but things went downhill from there.
Starting pitcher Adrian Cruz-Cruz went down with a hamstring tear in the top of the fifth, and the Hustlers bullpen let Arizona back into the game. They nearly handed the victory to Arizona but for the valiant effort of centerfielder Tom Vrakas, who robbed Arizona’s Jimmy Schlipter of a grand slam to end the Arizona eighth inning.
As fate would have it, Vrakas led off the Las Vegas half of the inning with a solo shot into the upper deck in right field. After the homer, the Hustlers went down in order, and manager Ted Kissling brought in a well-rested Oakes, who struck out the side with nine pitches to end the game.
After the game, Schlipter accused Oakes of tampering with the baseball. “Nobody has that kind of stuff,” Schlipter said. “I have a bachelor’s degree in physics. I know what a baseball can and cannot do.”
Oakes refused to comment.
OAKES EARNS 18TH SAVE, SCHLIPTER ACCUSES OAKES OF CHEATING
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Phoenix—For the second straight day, Nancy Oakes struck out the side in the bottom of the ninth inning, and earned her 18th save of the season.
Arizona first baseman Jimmy Schlipter again accused Oakes of tampering with the baseball, but umpires found nothing on the baseball, or on Oakes. At Schlipter’s insistence, the lead umpire has sent the game ball used by Oakes to baseball headquarters in New York for analysis.
BASEBALL NOT DOCTORED, COMMISSIONER SAYS
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
New York—Baseball Commissioner Ralph Ponderschlitz issued a statement earlier today claiming the baseball used by Nancy Oakes had not been tampered with. “The surface of the baseball had not been damaged or scuffed in any manner. The surface had been soiled from use, but no illegal substances such as oils or greases were found on the ball.
During a phone interview after the announcement, Hustlers manager Ted Kissling said, “This proves Nancy Oakes is using nothing more than God-given talent. She is one terrific pitcher, and the Las Vegas Hustlers are lucky to have her.”
OAKES RBI HELPS EARN THIRD WIN FOR HERSELF
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Las Vegas—Fans got a real treat last night when Nancy Oakes laced a Texas-leaguer over San Diego shortstop Don Julio’s outstretched glove to drive in Alvin Coolidge, then she proceeded to pitch a 1-2-3 inning, shutting San Diego down in the top of the ninth to ice the victory.
PITTSBURGH WINS ON CONSECUTIVE BASES-LOADED WALKS
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Pittsburgh—Nancy Oakes had tremendous stuff on the ball last evening; so good, in fact, she had trouble controlling the ball. She came into the game with the bases loaded and two outs in the bottom of the ninth. Asked to defend a 3-2 lead, Oakes proceeded to walk the first batter on four consecutive pitches, forcing in the tying run. The very next batter walked on five pitches, swinging and missing on a pitch in the dirt for the only strike Oakes would record on the night.
Pittsburgh manager Buck Shimmerman said, “Oakes was completely unhittable this evening. Our guys couldn’t reach the ball. That’s how far outside the strike zone she was.”
OAKES RECORDS 29TH SAVE IN HUSTLERS WIN OVER LOS ANGELES
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Las Vegas—In front of a riotous home crowd of 42,000 fans, Nancy Oakes came into the game with the bases loaded and nobody out in the top of the ninth. She proceeded to strike out the side.
“She had a lot of movement on that ball this evening,” Los Angeles manager Timmy Kindasorta told reporters after the game. “I have to wonder if there was anything to the Jimmy Schlipter accusations.”
Oakes declined to comment.
HUSTLERS OAKES STEALS THE SHOW IN ALL-STAR GAME
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Kansas City—The All-Star Game went down to the wire this year in Kansas City, with the senior circuit winning by the score of 11-10, saved by a scoreless ninth inning pitched by Hustlers rookie sensation Nancy Oakes.
“This is a victory for women everywhere,” Oakes said.
HUSTLERS MOVE INTO FIRST PLACE, OAKES DOMINATES IN NINTH
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Las Vegas—Visiting Arizona once again proved helpless against the arm of closer Nancy Oakes. She put the side down on only three pitches, causing two Arizona batters to ground out, and Jimmy Schlipter to pop up to the catcher for the final out.
Similar to the last time the Hustlers played Arizona, Schlipter accused Oakes of doctoring the baseball, and insisted the game ball again be sent to New York for testing.
Of Schlipter’s accusation, Oakes had this to say: “Jimmy Schlipter simply can’t accept that he got beat by a girl.”
COMMISSIONERS OFFICE FINDS NO SIGNS OF FOUL PLAY
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
New York—Baseball Commissioner Ralph Ponderschlitz announced that the results of the second Nancy Oakes baseball investigation again produced negative results. Commissioner warned Schlipter against making any further accusations against the Las Vegas relief pitcher.
OAKES RECORDS SAVE IN SIXTH CONSECUTIVE GAME
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
St. Louis—Rookie pitching sensation Nancy Oakes recorded another save, making six consecutive games, and closing out a sweep of this short 6-game road trip with the Hustlers victory over St. Louis. The Hustlers continue to cling to a one-game lead for first place in the division.
OAKES EJECTED, HUSTLERS FALL TO CHICAGO
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Chicago—On this sweltering day in Chicago, the friendly confines were not so friendly to Hustlers pitcher Nancy Oakes. She came into the game in the bottom of the eighth inning to hold a tenuous 15-14 lead. She struck out Chicago catcher Louis Pena on three straight pitches with lively action on the ball.
The problems began when Hustlers catcher Joe Barnaby tossed the ball back to Oakes. When Barnaby threw, the ball danced just like a Nancy Oakes pitch. “It was like I threw a knuckleball on steroids,” Barnaby later said.
Home plate umpire Scotty O’Brien asked for the baseball and tossed it to Barnaby with the same movement on the ball. Oakes was ejected from the game for tampering with the ball and, after arguing, manager Ted Kissling was also ejected.
“This ball will be sent to New York for further investigation,” O’Brien said.
After the ejections, the Hustlers fell apart, allowing twelve runs in the bottom of the eighth inning for an embarrassing 26-14 loss.
OAKES SUSPENDED PENDING RESULTS OF INVESTIGATION
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
New York—The office of the commissioner has suspended Hustlers pitcher Nancy Oakes for one week after initial investigation into tampering with the baseball turned up inconclusive results.
“Enough evidence has been found to call into question substances found on the surface of the baseball, and further investigation is warranted. We expect to have final results within a week, at which point a final decision on Nancy Oakes will be made,” Commissioner Ralph Ponderschlitz said during a telephone interview.
Hustlers management has submitted a protest for this unprecedented suspension, and Nancy Oakes refused to comment on the situation.
OAKES SUSPENDED INDEFINITELY AFTER TAMPERING IS CONFIRMED
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
New York—Commissioner Ralph Ponderschlitz has suspended Hustlers pitcher Nancy Oakes after baseball’s investigation discovered the aerodynamics of the game ball had been altered by nanotechnology.
Physicist Kelly Chan explained. “If the surface of the baseball is modified, air pressure on the ball changes in certain locations, causing an unbalanced force that results in a change in the path of the ball.”
Arizona’s Jimmy Schlipter issued a statement that his original accusations have been redeemed. He claimed the arm motion of Oakes’ delivery did not explain the action on her pitches.
Oakes refused to comment on the advice of her agent and attorney.
LAS VEGAS LOSES TWELFTH CONSECUTIVE GAME AFTER OAKES SUSPENSION
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Las Vegas—The Hustlers have lost their hustle, losing to Cincinnati again last night, making it now twelve in a row. The Hustlers have fallen from the division lead to fourth in the space of two weeks, putting postseason play into doubt for this season.
ENGINEERS EXPLAIN NONOTECH FOUND ON OAKES BASEBALL
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Boston—Engineers in Cambridge have released a statement explaining how the nanotech on the Nancy Oakes baseball functions. According to Mechanical Engineering professor Huang Tran, these were simple devices that moved an extremely small flat plate to a random angle, thus inducing a random airflow around the baseball.
The effect of this random airflow made the exact path of the baseball completely unpredictable. The concept is similar to the knuckleball, only the Oakes ball can be thrown much faster than a knuckleball and still achieve the random path.
Engineers now plan to examine the first two Nancy Oakes baseballs a second time.
HUSTLERS FINISH SEASON IN THIRD PLACE, MISS PLAYOFFS AGAIN
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Las Vegas—With last night’s loss to San Francisco, the Las Vegas Hustlers have been mathematically eliminated from post season play. After what had been the best start in this young expansion franchise’s five year history, the cloud of the Nancy Oakes scandal grew darker as the season progressed, and the Hustlers simply did not have the bullpen talent to compete without her.
“It has been a very tough year for us all,” manager Ted Kissling said. “It’s going to be a long winter for us, too.”
CHICAGO BEATS BOSTON IN SERIES
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Chicago—Boston takes championship in five games. Details in the Sport Section.
SCIENTISTS EXPLAIN HOW OAKES BEAT FIRST TWO ACCUSATIONS
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Boston—A team of engineers and scientists released new findings after reevaluating the first two baseballs sent to the commissioner’s office.
According to a statement issued by the commissioner’s office, Oakes had purchased nanotech from a supplier in an undisclosed Asian country. The technology used was modeled on a Japanese invention, in which devices similar to those commissioned by Nancy Oakes are embedded into asphalt and activated during slippery conditions for better traction.
The real genius of the Nancy Oakes nanotech was the material selection. Whereas the material the Japanese used had been selected for durability, Oakes selected material that would shatter on impact, reducing the nanotech to dust that would easily be mistaken for dirt from the playing field.
Nancy Oakes might have become one of the all-time great pitchers of the game had the manufacturer not mixed up the materials and sent Oakes nanotech intended for Japanese highways.
It certainly must go down in history as one of the more creative methods of cheating in baseball.
HUSTLERS RELEASE OAKES
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
Las Vegas—After the drama that unfolded during pitcher Nancy Oakes rookie season, the Las Vegas Hustlers have released the first female pitcher to play in the majors. The Hustlers cited excessive expense and legal problems as the reason for releasing her.
Female professional golfer Jennifer Harrigan later said, “Nancy Oakes gave girls a role model that said women can be just as good as men. By cheating to get there, Nancy Oakes has stolen that dream from a generation of children. It’s just appalling.”
Oakes could not be reached for comment.
OAKES BANNED FROM PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL
By: Mike Hopkins, Hustlers beat writer
New York—Baseball Commissioner Ralph Ponderschlitz issued a statement today that former Hustlers pitcher Nancy Oakes has been banned for life from playing professional baseball in North America. Two hours later, the Japanese league issued a similar statement.
JACKSONVILLE J’s SELECT RIGHT FIELDER JENNIFER CORAZON IN DRAFT
By: Jose Schmidt, J’s beat writer
New York—Jennifer Corazon becomes only the second female player ever selected in the baseball draft. Coming eleven years after the tragedy and shame that was the career of Las Vegas Hustlers pitcher Nancy Oakes, Jacksonville general manager Bobbi York issued a statement saying, “Enough time has passed. It’s time we break this gender barrier again, and this time, it will stay broken.”
Corazon is not a pitcher, she is an everyday player. She is an outfielder who, according to scouts, can swing a mean piece of lumber. Every piece of equipment was vetted by the office of the commissioner before being used by Corazon.
This young woman is the real thing, and a generation of female athletes have a new role model. 
Rick Novy is a member of Codex Writers Group and the SFWA. His stories have appeared in “Orson Scott Card’s Intergalactic Medicine Show,” “Flash Fiction Online,” “M-Brane SF,” and “Tales of the Talisman.” He has also written several novels.
