Inside Alien Anal Probes
By Preston Dennett
UFOS ARE A CONTROVERSIAL SUBJECT, and UFO abductions are more controversial. But probably the most debatable aspect of UFO abductions is the anal probe phenomenon. Although aliens are claimed to have performed a wide variety of medical procedures on people, anal probing has taken the spotlight and caused a continuing tirade of ridicule and commentary.
Because of the media’s tongue-in-cheek attitude toward the subject, in the mind of the public, aliens and anal probes have become inextricably linked. For example, when mainstream television journalist George Knapp broke the Area 51 story in Las Vegas in the early 1990s, he was ridiculed mercilessly. Although Knapp had never investigated, discussed, or really even heard of alien anal probes, in the mind of the media, he was an expert. As George Knapp writes, “One newspaper reacted to my reports about alleged alien abductions by anointing me as a high priest in the Church of Cosmic Proctology.”
But the main source for all of this appears to come from horror author Whitley Strieber, and his vividly narrated account of his own alleged experiences with ETs, including an anal probe. For some reason, the mainstream media has latched on to this one detail of the alien examination, popularizing it to such a degree that some people assume that anal probing is the primary alien agenda. As researcher Jason Colavito writes: “The alien anal probe has become such a cliché that it now stands as synecdoche for the entirety of the alien abduction experience.”
Alien anal probes have become the butt of the joke on the Internet. When asked why aliens want to look up people’s asses, here is a list of fourteen reasons the average person may cite why aliens conduct anal probes:
• Probably to see if they have any brains.
• Because the Grays are evolved from prehistoric maggots and they “milk” humans for poo.
• Because aliens come from Uranus.
• To find out what’s in there.
• Maybe they do it for shits and giggles.
• They’re looking for drugs, duh!
• They want to see the look on your face.
• They’re harvesting farts.
• The prostate bears a striking resemblance to their alien gods.
• They want to get to the bottom of things.
• The point is presumably to see the inside of the anus.
• Because it’s funny.
• They’re not aliens ... they’re the government in spacesuits and you know how the government likes to stick it to you.
• They like traveling in black holes.
For these reasons, and others, most researchers won’t touch the subect of anal probes with a ten-foot pole! Exactly why do aliens find it necessary to explore human rectums, when did this strange behavior begin, and what does it mean? Let us explore this taboo subject and find out the purpose behind this extraterrestrial excremental experimentation, and why they are traveling light years to analyze the anuses of innocent humans.
One of the few people to describe this procedure in detail is “abductee” Bill Foster. Under hypnosis, Foster recalled being taken onboard a large triangular-shaped craft occupied by at least thirty Grays. Says Foster, “Now it seems like, yes, they are turning me over on my left side. The big guy next to me is squatting down lower, still looking into my eyes. One of the Grays on the far side of the table comes around to my viewing side and picks up a thing which is lying on the table. It is a rod of some sort, about twelve to thirteen inches long. It is silver on three-fourths of it and black on the rest of it. A dull, flat, black color. He is going to insert that into my rear end. God! No wonder my buttocks are so sensitive. I can’t imagine having that thing stuck up my ass. He inserts it to about what looks like a four-inch depth and again, leaves it there for about ten seconds and then pulls it out. He is looking at something on the side of that tube. I don’t really want to look at all this.”
An equally detailed account comes from another well-known UFO “abductee” Whitley Strieber. During one of his supposed onboard experiences, he says he was undressed and examined by the ETs. Writes Strieber, “There were clothes strewn about, and two of the stocky ones drew my legs apart. The next thing I knew I was being shown an enormous and extremely ugly object, gray and scaly, with a sort of network of wires on the end. It was at least a foot long, narrow and triangular in structure. They inserted this thing in my rectum. It seemed to swarm into me as if it had a life of its own. Apparently its purpose was to take samples, possibly of fecal matter, but at the time I had the impression I was being raped, and for the first time I felt anger.
“Only when the thing was withdrawn did I see that it was a mechanical device. The individual holding it pointed to a wire cage on the tip and seemed to warn me about something. But what? I never found out.”
Another graphic description comes from Jack Wiener of the “Allagash Four.” This landmark case occurred in 1976 and involved four men who were, says Wiener, simultaneously abducted while camping on the Allagash River, in Maine. Immediately prior to his procedure onboard the craft, the gray-type ET told Wiener, “Don’t be afraid. We won’t harm you. Just do what we say ... Stand wide.”
Weiner has also described the event as he claims under hypnosis, “I try—and I do it—but I don’t feel like I’m doing what they want. And they’re saying, Just do it. Don’t be afraid. And then they’re looking at me ... They’re putting something in me ... up my ass. I’m afraid ... I don’t know what it is. It’s—it burns. It’s like an enema. It’s uncomfortable, but no, it’s not so bad ... They are saying, It’s not so bad. And so I’m saying, Okay, it’s not so bad.”
John Mack, MD, offers up his own account of “Peter” who also experienced anal probing during a physical examination aboard a UFO. Writes Mack, “The most humiliating part followed as they’re groping at my legs and put a tube in his rectum to take a stool sample. These guys don’t know how to touch people ... like get some bedside manner. The tube was passed deeper into his rectum and Peter felt that they left an implant or an information chip inside of him. Why do you have to do this to me? ... I feel like a tagged animal. I feel like they put something big up my anus, and spread it and then stuck something else up through it and then they left it. It’s way up inside me. Feeling defeated and humiliated now, Peter said what pisses me off the most is that they told me they were going to do this. They held it up for me and showed me.”
Another abductee described the device used: “The real anal probe is a cylindrical device with myriad tentacles waving about, each about five inches in length, as I recall the experience. I didn't feel anything. I was not aware until it was removed that it had been in there ... A warning is issued after removal. I can't remember what the warning is exactly. Many abductees like myself would sincerely like to know.”
Alicia Hansen (pseudonym) claims to have had UFO experiences most of her life, including onboard abductions, examinations by gray-type ETs, missing-pregnancies, healings and more, including anal probing. During one such procedure, Hansen said she was able to converse with the ETs and asked them: “Why are you doing that? There’s nothing good up there.” They seemed confused by her question and told her that they were studying her body.
Perhaps the most lucid explanation comes from Jim Sparks, an abductee from Florida. While many people who experience ET encounters find their memories shrouded by amnesia, Sparks says he can recall his experiences consciously. His recollections coincide with what other people have claimed.
“Some of these alien medical exams unfortunately include anal probes,” writes Sparks. “Yuck! A subject I do not enjoy talking about, writing about, or experiencing. Of course, not everything I write about is comfortable to relive, and in this case I feel it is necessary ... I found myself face down on an examination table, in tremendous pain. They had inserted a deep anal probe into me, and I could feel it churning about in my guts. I felt so miserable that I cried out, What the hell are you doing to me?”
“An examination of your system,” the alien replied.
“The pain is awful! You’re hurting me!”
“Then I blacked out,” continues Spark. “When I regained consciousness, I found myself face up on the table, sore inside, but not in pain. Two aliens were present, and it appeared they were just finishing up their procedure.”
“It is necessary that you stop eating animals,” one of them said, communicating telepathically. “Your system is overloaded with trash. Intelligence dictates that you do not have to kill to survive.”
Sparks was surprised by their use of their word: trash. After the experience, he found himself in a dilemma. Prior to the encounter, he had been “a true carnivore” eating rare steak, hamburgers, meatloaf, pot roasts, pork ribs, roast pork, and more. “It would take an Act of Congress for Jim to stop eating meat,” his friends told him.
Or an act of aliens, as it turned out. Following the alleged experience, Sparks quit eating red meat, limiting himself to fish and fowl. Precisely thirty days following his alien colonoscopy, Sparks says the aliens returned and began to conduct another one. “They were poking and prodding me,” Sparks said, “And I hated it.”
“Damn it!” he shouted. “Why are you doing this again? I stopped eating meat!”
“We know,” they said. “We had to make sure it was helping you, and it is.”
Again Sparks says he was sore afterwards, but years later, his diet is said to remain largely vegetarian. “I have met many fellow abductees,” says Spark. “The bulk of them are vegetarians. I find that odd, don’t you?”
David Jacobs, Ph.D., is one of the leading authorities on UFO abductions, yet his speculations are surprisingly brief. Writes Jacobs: “After they have examined the vertebrae and back, the aliens rolled the abductee onto her left side. From this position, the Small Beings may once again examine and feel the vertebrae. After this, they conduct a rectal examination. They use a variety of instruments, one of which resembles a wire whisk. They insert the instrument and withdraw it. When the rectal exam is over, the Beings roll the woman completely on her stomach.”
In his article, “Aliens and Anal Probes,” researcher Jason Colavito asks the question about who was first to receive an anal probe. Writes Colavito, “Why is it that aliens want to probe our butts, or more specifically, when exactly did people start claiming that aliens gave them anal probes? Anal probes are now such an established part of the UFO phenomenon that you’d think there would be a clear answer to when the aliens started probing unwary humans ... but, surprisingly, no one has yet created a definitive catalog of anal probing events or a timeline of when they started.”
Colavito tracked the earliest claim to the legendary Betty and Barney Hill case, which is said to have occurred in New Hampshire in 1961. While there is no mention of anal probing in most books about the Hill case, researcher Walter Webb had access to the actual hypnosis tapes and writes in an early article that Barney Hill had this experience. Writes Webb: “A cylindrical object was inserted up the rectum, and once again the witness believed something was removed.”
More cases could be listed, but would only be repetitive and redundant. What these cases do is shed some additional light on the UFO mystery.
An examination of existing UFO evidence shows that it is a physical phenomenon. People are supposedly being kidnapped, taken onboard UFOs, and subject to a wide variety of experiments and procedures. The abduction claims indicate that ETs have an intense interest in the human body. This particular procedure of anal probing may represent nothing more than a simple colonoscopy. Certainly Earth doctors are able to diagnose the health status of an individual by using similar methods. Despite the unpleasant and embarrassing nature of this experience, it could be that the ETs are simply doing what doctors and zoologists do. By studying the fecal matter of animals or humans, one is able to determine their diet, measure levels of pollution, toxins, hormones, and a host of other bodily functions.
Some researchers have commented on the sexual nature of anal probing, but little of that comes across in these case histories. None of the witnesses say they enjoyed the experience. Simply put, anal probes are not all they’re cracked up to be. Instead, the procedure is described as clinical and without feeling—a medical procedure and not a sexual one.
Another theory is that people are undergoing a process of electro-ejaculation, and say that only males have this experience, which is not true. Also, in many cases, sperm removal seems to be a separate procedure, using a cup-like device placed over the groin.
One interested person has suggested: “They’re collecting bacterial samples. It’s for their genetics/food research. Don’t take it personally.” That, I think, sums it up nicely. Despite the controversial nature of this procedure, it is little different from the many other medical procedures performed aboard UFOs.
ETs have been called many things: excellent pilots, powerful hypnotists, clever tricksters, advanced scientists, curious tourists. Near the top of this list is the label of doctor. With the addition of this awkwardly specific type of report, it looks like we might have to add yet another name the growing list: extraterrestrial proctologists.
Colavito, Jason. “Aliens and Anal Probes.” Jason Colavito.com
Foster, Bill and Peggy Foster. The Black Triangle Abduction. Woodbridge, VA: Invisible College Press, 2005, pp150-151.
Fowler, Raymond. The Allagash Abductions. Tigard, OR: Wild Flower Press, 1993. p87.
Jacobs PhD, David. Secret Life: Firsthand Accounts of UFO Abductions. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1992, p93.
Kelleher PhD, Colm and George Knapp. Hunt For the Skinwalker. New York: Pocketbooks, 2005, ppxiii.
Mack MD, John E. Abduction: Human Encounters with Aliens. New York: MacMillan Publishing Company, 1994, p300.
Sparks, Jim. The Keepers: An Alien Message for the Human Race. Columbus, NC: Wildflower Press, 2006, p191.
Strieber, Whitley. Communion. New York: William Morrow & Co, 1988. p30.
Webb, Walter N. “A Dramatic Encounter in the White Mountains, NH: The Hill Case.” National Investigative Committee on Aerial Objects.
Preston Dennett has been investigating UFOs for nearly 30 years. He also writes speculative fiction. His stories have appeared in “Allegory,” “Andromeda Spaceways,” “Black Treacle,” “Cast of Wonders,” “Grievous Angel,” and many other venues.